Syndication:

Validated XML RSS

|

|

| Twitter | Facebook | LJ

More Joe: | Mentally Incontinent | Automotivetry | Could I Have Made It?

The Journal of Joe The Peacock. Yay.

Oh, yay... The journal of an internet author and professional dork. Hope it's what you wanted when you clicked that link you clicked.

6.25.2009:

Tori Amos Fucking Sucks

2:19 PM

Ever since the new Tori Amos record came out, I've had no quarter from the hyperventilating 30-something female friends of mine who just can't shut the fuck up about it. I hate her, and always have. And when I try to explain why, they get all pissy and moany and offendy and accuse me of picking on a rape victim.

Not so. And here's why.

I've had enough things happen in my life that are shitty enough to qualify for "life altering." And for the most part, you've never read about any of them. Sure, you've read about flubbed first-ever sexual encounters and porn on Wal-Mart TVs and various mishaps with various body fluids in various places... But none of these things could really be considered "life altering." They're not gross victimizations of my person. They're not serious issues that shouldn't be demeaned by my exploitation.

Which is why I find Tori Amos so fucking gross.

Tori Amos was a fame-chasing trendy pop mistress who failed in her pathetic band Y Kant Tori Read. She dressed like Madonna and and sang like Madonna with Shit In Her Mouth:

She sucked.

Then, the label (Atlantic, who gave her a 6 record deal for whatever fucking reason), decided to repackage her. In their infinite wisdom (and of course, following the trend of grunge music that was rising), they listened to a Sarah McLaghlan record and said "Ok, now you sound like that."

In order to further her artistic whatevers, she drew from these deep dark experiences in her life that sounded a lot like rape. In recent years, there's been a rather large crusade across the net to actually disprove her allegations of rape - I won't ever go that far, because I wasn't there and I take that kind of shit seriously.

Which is my point. I know several assault victims who, even many years later, won't talk about the event. It's not that they're repressed, it's that they won't let it become who they are. And that's what Tori is all about - the personification of her own misery. It's fairly disgusting, and if she were to start to break out now, we'd all pile on and call her Emo. But because a ton of impressionable artsy grungy girls listened to her when they were teenagers and felt like they finally understood what it means to be A WOMAN!!!!! and now all those impressionable artsy grungy girls are stupid whiny adult WOMEN!!!!! who love Tori, she has this grandfathered-in legitimacy.

I don't dispute that her voice has improved over the years, and I don't doubt that she plays a mean piano. But if she wrote out her lyrics and posted it to any forum on the internet, she'd quickly have this graphic pasted just below her posts:

When you're a teenager, this kind of nonsense feels great. It's fantastic to be so misunderstood that only a million-selling recording artist really gets you. But come on... Tori Amos sucks. I have no problem with making a spectacle out of one's misery -- I've made an entire career out of it. But I feel that when the context shifts from "check this out" or "wanna laugh?" to "Oh woe is me!!! I'm a sad artist with a 6 record deal and blew the first record on late 80's clichepop, so now I have to change gears -- quick, what's a subject people will actually take seriously????" then you lose any and all merit. And then you suck.

* * *

(Permalink)

StumbleUpon Toolbar

4 Comments:

Der_General said...: Eh, she's hardly the first artist to do a complete 180 style-wise - Pantera started out as a glam metal band, Billy Corgan was a metalhead, and I won't even bring up Ministry's first album. Who's to say the first album wasn't the record company trying to "package" her a certain way, and the later stuff was when they let her off the leash creatively? Either way, I think the first few solo albums had some ginteresting stuff on them, but everything in the past ten years or so has suuuuucked. "Strange Little Girls" was bad enough to make me swear off ever buying another one her albums again...; 6/25/2009 10:38 PM
c.o.d.e r.e.d said...: Okay. You're totally qualified to have an opinion about any musician's material. So you can say you don't like her music. That's fine. That's also not very unique. A lot of people don't like Tori Amos' music. Just like a lot of people don't like every other artist too. And then there's those who are fans of Tori, or anyone else. Also not very unique. But unless you know her, all your rambling is totally speculation...which really gives it no credibility at all and just makes you sound incredibly stupid.; 7/22/2009 1:35 PM
Tonic said...: "Bitter,table for one."

I take it you're not a musician...as Tori Amos sound nothing like Sarah McLachlan. She was classically trained and, opposite to being re-packaged, actually focused on that for LITTLE EARTHQUAKES. Since then, she has also many rock and poppy songs and STILL performs Y KANT TORI READ songs at concerts.

The fact that she started the group R.A.I.N.N. to help victims of rape and incest contradicts your label of someone wallowing in victimization.

Don't like Tori's music? Cool. Acting like a ass*hat about it? Stupid. Don't like poetic lyrics? Cool. Go listen to your Kelly Clarksons and Celine Dions.; 8/11/2009 2:13 PM
Anonymous said...: All I know about Tori Amos is, that I listen to radioparadise non-stop and when ever I hear a half baked piece of sh*t song, I look to see who the artist and 9 times out of 10 is reads, Tori Amos. She is talentless. Honestly I don't know how she got to where she is, but I assume......; 11/01/2009 7:57 PM

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Archives

02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 05.2003 06.2003 10.2003 11.2003 12.2003 01.2004 04.2004 05.2004 06.2004 07.2004 08.2004 09.2004 10.2004 11.2004 12.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 12.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 05.2009 06.2009 07.2009 08.2009 09.2009 10.2009 11.2009 12.2009 01.2010 02.2010 03.2010

Creative Commons License

- The Insane Energy Drink Experiment

- How To Actually Get A Decent Tattoo

- The Ultimate Guide To Twitter

- How To Actually Talk To Atheists (If You're Christian)

- Why Men Fist-Bump

- How to Actually Win A Fist Fight

- The Absolute Beginner's Guide To Working Out

- Notes During A Teleconference

- The Rules of the Gym

My NEW book, also called
Mentally Incontinent
(with all new material)
out November 3rd!

My first book,
Mentally Incontinent

Read Now
~~Buy Now~~
SOLD OUT - FOREVER!
Here's why!

follow me on Twitter

Joe on Facebook

Mentally Incontinent

Promote Your Page Too

Follow this blog

Joe's Xbox Live Gamercard